Mad Skills on the butter Churner 1’s and 2’s

• So my mind has been exploding with thoughts that i have deemed “blog-worthy”. There are so many i can not go in to full detail and express my opinion on them all, but feel free to start a dialogue as usual and contribute your thoughts on the below matters.

• Someone should really start a campaign to change the word “ask” to “ax” officially. no one says ask. Its not even slang or bad pronunciation. It just is humanely impossible to say ask without trying to hard to enunciate.

• How come it is impossible to tickle yourself? i mean most people are ticklish, even though we all front like we are not. but how come we cant physically make ourselves laugh by trying to tickle ourselves. You can try, but please do this in private, because though interesting something about this is not cool 9especially for dudes) to do. i haven’t gotten the balls to try it yet, but then how else do i know that it doesn’t work? hmmmm

• Who the hell is in charge of picking what items go on the signs for aisles in the pharmacy and the supermarket? Seriously they have a talent, cause of all the random thing in a CVS aisle, sdomehow they put 4 or 5 words that lead u in the right direction. No matter what you think of, its on that list. Anything from “toothpaste” to “laxatives” I cant figure out wht the fuck is in the aisle, but not on the damn sign, and i know there are more than 5 product types down there.

• the person who named the brownie is lazy as hell! What the fuck man, take the word “cookie” for instance. This is a unique word that doesnt simply just describe the color of the item in question. or “cake”. The guy could have named it anything and he said “fuck it, this shit looks brown, so i will call it brownie”. This must be the same guy that invented the “walkie talkie”…. lazy fucking idiot.

• Walking behind old people up or down stairs is painful. I understand the negative side effects of unlubricated joints. but wouldnt it be easier if they had their own staircase or lane on the stairs. kind of like an HOV lane for old people, it could be lined with hard candies and copies of “The Watchtower” to entertain them as they ascend or descend.

• Of all the fantabulous flavors in the drink aisle like pineapple starfruit guava etc., why the fuck has no one thought to combine grape and lemonade. That shit would be banging. Can someone please fix this oversight. shit they have strawberry, peach, raspberry etc. lemonades. so why not grape. I think its somehow a plot by the man!

• Have you ever been so sick that you didnt think u would ever get better and all you wished for was to be “normal’ again. You look back at the tuesday before when you were watching tv not in pain and wish you could have that life again. people are so dramatic. lol

• I have been polling people and i seriously think you should have the ability to text 911. Shit i can text the radio station to win an iphone so why couldn’t i text the cops if for some reason i got kidnapped and couldnt talk or if i was in an emergency but knew i didnt have enough battery life for a call? think about it!! seriously.

I look forward to all your thoughts on this blog, or rather “electronic thoughtie pagie”. (death to the brownie guy!)