The Afterlife Sock Hop

When is the last time anyone got a papercut? Seriously i now feel immune to them. High school was the time period that had the highest concentration of injuries followed second by time on internships. I don’t know if paper is being made foolproof now or if we just have turned completely into an electronic society, but I personally haven’t gotten a paper cut for a long time but do know I don’t miss them at all.

And what about the mystery of my “good for nothing fucking always lost socks”. Everyone has this problem and its really baffling to me. No matter how many pairs or $10 for 70 pair bulk-packs you buy, they always disappear even though your not lending them out. I just got a pack of white socks for christmas and this morning i couldn’t find any of them in my clean clothes basket even though i remembered putting them in the wash. I also had a pack of black ankle socks from the summer which now only exist as one faded stretched sock and another black ankle sock that is somehow a different brand?? Are you kidding me? Who does this and how do you make it stop? The funniest thing is the dingiest socks are always the ones that stick around and the crispy ones out of the pack (that you promise yourself you will keep forever) don’t. Is this somehow inconclusive proof that ghosts or spirits exist? Are all of our dearly departed family members souls stashing our socks to let us know “you are not alone”. Is their a big clothes donation bin for socks in heaven? If so, The movie ghost should have referenced this. Patrick Swayze stealing Demi Moore’s socks instead of unrealistically playing with pennies on her door. Then more of us would believe!!! If i had three questions to ask God or a genie “Do you have my socks?” honestly would be one of them because I can not figure it out.