Dear Friends, Please be careful at concerts,credit card sign-ups and sporting events because in case you did not already know… A MUTHAFUCKA WILL KILL YOU FOR A FREE T-SHIRT!!!. I mean literally murder you with their bare hands in order to get a lime green Das Effex T-Shirt. It doesn’t matter if you caught it first, its still fair game as long as they can pry it from your cold dead mitts before rigamortis sets in.
Can we stop being so dramatic and overusing the word “War”. I mean damn, there is a “War on drugs”, “War on terror”, “War on the middle class”, etc. Shit, if America wants to be efficient we might as well combine all of those shits because War is that big of a deal (big enough for it to be always intial capped like “President” or “God”). Let’s Fucking consolidate: America versus muslim extremists with good jobs who occasionally smoke crack.
Why does it say “no refill” on the side of soda bottles and juice bottles? Did i pick up the preferred beverage for retards by mistake? oh my bad, how retarded of me.
Turtle neck + Scarf = IDIOT
Okay, now on to something serious. Very serious. Why the fuck does toast smell SOOOOOO good? Its just cooked fucking bread!! But put that bread in the toaster and people are looking around for an apron and the good silverware. I mean the shit smells like an entire meal with a desert. Just the one piece of bread! And even when it gets burnt it smells good enough for your dumb ass to take the first bite to see if it will taste as good. Shame on your IQ. Your really missing out if you have not brought out the full flavor of your bread by toasting it. Don’t sleep on the potential for greatness. If you have house guest coming and you really want to impress them put a whole loaf of bread onto foil and broil that shit so the aroma can fill every crevice of your house giving you the credibility of an Emeril Legassi.
