You know who I hate!! The guy that walks up behind you at the same time at the water fountain. Yeah, he appears nice and courteous and lets you go first to drink. But that is a selfish motherfucker right there!! He deserves nothing short of a salty guillotine and a coward’s death. I know his type and he is slicker than a ferret. He only lets you go drink first because he knows as you bow to drink you will be overcome with the burden of guilt and shame….. subsequently cutting the rain shower of refreshment pouring directly into your mouth short PREMATURELY. Its kind of like having a baby a few weeks before your due date. It just isn’t the same and somewhat anti-climactic. So after your flirty, brief affair with the clear ejaculate from the fountain robot do not be mad at anyone but yourself. As you catch yourself from a dehydration induced stumble realize that you are the idiot in the equation. You let him win! Wake up! You can take as long as you fucking want at the water fountain. Your liver can kick that guys liver’s ass. So, drink up Spartans. Drink to the point you can hear water sloshing around in your stomach and no longer want to continue your work out. Why ? Just so you can get the joy of making a slimy bastard wait behind you while sweat drips in his eye and he makes that homosexual sucking teeth sound and then pretends it was a naturally occurring noise the second time he makes it trying to cover up. Bitch ass.
